As a football analyst with a Cambridge degree and a love for Brazilian chaos, I’m diving into the madness of China’s 2025 中冠联赛 — where 70 teams fight for just 3.5 spots in China League Two. It’s not just survival of the fittest; it’s survival of the statistically plausible. Let’s break down the math, the madness, and why this is arguably the most intense grassroots football battle on Earth.